Emotional Resilience is when you are able to compose your agitated/distraught mind after facing a stress-inducing event. More than winning, emotional resilience is all about sticking to the very end. Here, you accept your worst self and pick out your broken pieces to keep the sail steady.
BUT IS EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE JUST ABOUT ‘SAILING THROUGH’ THE ROUGH WATERS OF OUR LIVES?
Emotional resilience also involves personal growth; it cultivates the understanding that these storms, though painful and challenging, do not determine how the rest of our life would be.
Being resilient does not mean that you will never experience pain or distress. All the quotidian challenges of life-altering traumatic events that we endure leave a lasting impact on our lives. It affects everyone differently, surfacing a unique layer of thoughts, intense emotions, and unending uncertainty. Emotional resilience is all about the three A’s:
A – Awareness of the multi-layered impact of the event on our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors
A – Accepting and understanding this ball of change
A – Adapting to the life-changing and stressful situations over time
Hence, the role of resilience is to help you get through the challenging situations, empower you to grow, improve your well-being, and also make you more resilient.
DIMENSIONS OF EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE
There are certain elements that make some individuals more resilient than others. These elements involve thought processes and behaviors that people can learn and develop. They are the building blocks of resilience and individuals should work on these to improve their resilience. The elements can be grouped together to form three dimensions of emotional resilience:
The physical Dimension:
- Good health
- Energy
The psychological dimension:
- Focus.
- Self Esteem
- Emotional awareness
- Internal locus of control
- Emotional regulation
- Thinking and reasoning
- Adjustability
- Sense of humor
- Perseverance.
The social Dimension:
- Interpersonal relationships
- Support
- Co-operation
- Communication
And like building any precious object, building resilience takes time and effort. To improve your emotional resilience, to withstand a difficult or traumatic experience, and to learn and grow from the hard times, you can make use of the following strategies.
TIPS TO BUILD YOUR RESILIENCE
• CULTIVATE CONNECTIONS: Amidst difficulties, cultivating connections will help to know that you are not alone; there are people who can understand and support you. Sometimes the pain and suffering is so much that we just need someone right, someone who can validate our feelings and be empathetic. Hence, develop relationships that are trustworthy and supportive. Find genuine connections and treasure them.
• BE A PART OF SOMETHING: It can be anything – a community group, faith-based gathering, local organization, NGOs, or a support group. Being active and developing meaningful relationships can help you regain hope through times of uncertainty and distress. You can search for groups in the nearby area that can fuel your sense of purpose and provide you joy and comfort.
• SELF-CARE: Self-care during these unprecedented times or even as a daily routine of yours is extremely important. It does not have to be an expensive spa treatment or going on a shopping spree. It can be as simple as eating healthy, taking a walk, or being at a place where your mind is at peace. Hence, practicing mindfulness, promoting a healthy and positive lifestyle, getting enough sleep, and indulging in regular exercise will help build resilience and strengthen your body and mind to adapt to the distressful event.
• MALADAPTIVE COPING: Drinking alcohol, smoking, taking drugs, or other substances to relieve the pain and stress experienced is a common way to mask and repress your emotional reactions. Though common, it is a very short-term and absolutely unhelpful fix for your problems. If the wound is internal, will a bandage help? Adaptive coping in stressful times would involve giving yourself time and resources to manage stress and to understand it instead of impatiently trying to eliminate those feelings which may surface in different ways later.
- The act of giving: Helping those in need can assist you to find purpose in your life; it can build your self-worth and grow your resilience. However, this does not mean that you must tangibly help others when you “YOUR-SELF” need help. Building resilience is a process that happens throughout your life, not just during a crisis situation. So, whenever you can, you should volunteer at a local shelter or support a friend in their time of need.
- Think practical: After awareness and acceptance of your emotions, it is very crucial to think proactively about what you can do about it. Your actions and behaviors towards managing the hard times are important. Break the problem into manageable pieces and try to work on the first, so that you are not overwhelmed by the size or intensity of the problem as a whole. Let us take an example here –
- Focusing on short-term goals: Moving towards your goals during hard times seems impossible. But these goals do not have to be huge and difficult ones, even small achievements that take you closer to the larger goals would do as long as you are trying to move forward.
- Journaling or venting: It is important to let out your emotions to gain more clarity and insight. Journaling or venting it out to a friend can help you understand yourself better and make you feel lighter.
Positive outlook: Instead of catastrophizing the events and believing the worst case scenario, adopting healthy thought patterns and maintain a positive outlook can help you get through a difficult time sooner. Obviously it is not easy to do this, but constant self-reminders and having hope and faith in yourself can go a long way in cultivating this positive outlook.
For further reading on this topic and building your resilience, visit https://positivepsychology.com/emotional-resilience/
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