Managing a kid is not a cakewalk and all the aspects of parenting and the challenges included are why we need these 13 effortless and handy parenting tips. These hardships are magnified when you are a parent of a child with special needs. The trouble is more than double. A few concerns among the many are:
- Educating yourself about the disability and keeping track with the latest information available
- Researching more and more about efficacious treatment so that the child is in the best hands
- Dealing with the distress and exhaustion – mental and physical – caused by the demands of tending a child with a disability
- Oodles of appointments – doctors, therapists, social workers, school educators, etc.
- The financial expense of all the treatments and interventions that health insurance does not cover.
- No time and energy left for self and others in the family. Constant worry about the child, etc.
Handling all this with all the worry, fear, distress, anxiety, and with so much to think about and plan for, also with pressure to make the right decision for your child, special needs parents really do have special powers!
Tips for Special Needs Parents
To help you manage, understand, and deal with the challenges of raising a special needs child, here are a few parenting tips you can utilize –
- Take care of yourself – Self-care is important for your success. You will be able to look after your child in a better way if you take care of yourself too. It is not a marathon that you need to be strong and on-the-go all the time. Get a good night’s sleep, eat healthily, meditate or exercise, take a nice bubble bath or spa treatment, read something not related to your child’s condition, and do not forget it is not wrong to put yourself first sometimes.
- Manage your expectations – As a parent, there is always a certain amount of expectations that you may have from your child. But with a special needs child, the expectations should be more realistic. This does not mean you have to underestimate your child’s potentials, but having rocket-high expectations will only do more harm and hamper your parent-child relationship.
- Be firm yet calm – To teach your child appropriate behavior, you will need to be firm in your approach and give assertive instructions. But do not compromise on your warmth and calm while doing so. Try to maintain a balance between the two. The more firm you are, the more clear it is for the child in how to behave and what is desired.
- Keep a journal – Write down in a diary about the strengths of your child, or daily achievements, or areas that need more attention and how to work on those aspects. This will help you keep track and ground you when you feel all over the place.
- Go liberal – As your child grows, it is a good idea to give him space to make his own decisions. Small decisions like what to wear, or what he/she wants to do that day, will help his self-esteem and take some load off your shoulders too. However, be mindful that the situation is not too complex or triggering for your child. Go very slow, plan aptly, and try to increase the complexity only after the earlier behavior is learned.
- Reduce the distractions – When the child is getting unruly or throwing tantrums, remove all the distractions in that environment. Anything can trigger his/her behavior, know what is triggering, and try to remove that distraction.
- Never forget to appreciate/praise your child – Celebrate the smallest of wins, praise all the efforts of your child. This will encourage him/her to continue behaving in a similar manner. Your child may have very different ways to express his/her feelings and recognize that.
- Do not compare – Comparing your child with other kids of his/her cohort will be harmful to the well-being of your child. Your child is special and unique in his/her own way.
- Build a routine – Children manage better when they know what is to be done and what is expected. Setting a fixed schedule of his/her routine will help him to do the task more and more independently.
- Take breaks – It is tough to constantly take appointments, monitoring medications, meeting their needs, advocating for them, educating yourself, etc. along with the ‘normal’ duties of being a parent. Even with the superpower, you are a human being and it is normal to take a time out and a break. You can take the help of child care centers, babysitters, or a friend or relative for this.
- Value relationships – Give time to your partner, relatives, and friends and communicate with them. Talking about your bottled-up emotions may give you some relief and a renewed ability to see things more clearly and plan accordingly. Plus, you know they can be there any time you want some help or emotional or material support.
- Seek help – Caregiver stress is real and it is important that you seek help from some expert if need be. The exhaustion of looking after a special needs child can make you feel depressed or anxious. Therapy for this would help you cope up with the challenges better.
- Support groups – Lastly, built a support network. You can learn a lot from the experiences of other parents and they can help you overcome any roadblock you are experiencing. Also, meeting other special needs parents will make you feel less isolated and alone. Support groups have shown to help caregivers tremendously, making their life somewhat easy.
Remember, your child is NOT the problem and it is not his/her fault. They are much more than their symptoms so try to love them unconditionally.
References –
- https://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2012/10/22/special-needs-parenting-12-tips-for-managing-challenging-behavior/
- https://www.bu.edu/fsao/resources/parenting-children-with-special-needs/
- https://www.thechaosandtheclutter.com/archives/advice-parents-special-needs-children
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